It was like yesterday. I was fifteen years old sitting at our kitchen table in our new house. Both of my parents were home and the looks in their faces was of major concern. They struggled to tell my brother and I that both of them lost their jobs within weeks of each other. From that day on I made the commitment to work for myself and so did my brother. Once the jobs were lost it caused stress in the household, drinking, a disconnected marriage which eventually led to a divorce.
At age 15 I had it all figured out. I would have my own business, make a lot of money, be happily married and have my own family. At age 29 I had all that including a growing relationship with God. At yet something was missing. My spiritual core- My purpose. Now at that time I didn’t know that at all. A marriage counselor gave me a book The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo and that started the process. It opened me up to explore, go deeper and do the necessary work to get there. For the next 16 years daily reading, writing, prayer, meditation, physical fitness, working with many holistic healers was a big part of my life.
It took the end of my own marriage and leaving my 3rd startup in 8 years to ask the question again what is my purpose. What have I been doing? The answer was simple. All my businesses were money driven, not HEART driven. It had taken a toll on me for years. I had this secret life of exploring and growing my spirituality and not sharing the beauty with anyone. I did give my best efforts with my former wife, the ones we love the most we must let go so they can find themselves.
I tried to go back to working for a company and that was eye opening. I took it after my divorce thinking it was the responsible thing to do which many friends and family suggested that I should do. I lasted six months. The responsible thing for me to do is to listen to my heart once and for all. Because if I don’t I’ll be better off dead. Now that might seem pretty harsh but it’s the truth. My truth. See my life experiences have prepared me for the road ahead. I have had many life lessons in both my personal and my business life and there will be many more lessons ahead.
The BIG lesson I’ve learned is that I AM The Purpose and everything I’ve been through has served me for my highest good. I need to bring my spirituality in all parts of my life all the time. It is the only way I can thrive and survive. I’m not sure if any of my blogs – journal entries get read much but doing this weekly keeps me on the path, the spiritual fitness path. My daughter asked me tonight at dinner Dad are you making any money yet? I took a breath as she is 12 and wanted to use the right words and meet her where she could understand. I said I’m following my HEART all will be ok. In truth it will be ok. It will be off the hook.